...and, I'm back.

I am the worlds worst blogger. Ok so maybe not, but how about this, I'm definitely horrible with commitment. I can't even stay committed to Words With Friends and Hanging With Friends games...not that that really has anything to do with my life right now.  I really do miss writing but all it takes is that one week to get me off track and boom...I'm gone for months. All that aside, I'm back for now and man has this month been awesome. God has been showing himself to me in some pretty crazy ways recently and I can't even put into words how amazed I am at his faithfulness.

I'm really struggling with where to start right now because if I want to be able to make anything that happened today make any sense you're going to need to back track with me to about 3 months. So here goes nothing...

I started praying that God would remind me of my identity in Him instead of in myself and more specifically in my job. About 3 weeks ago we took our youth group to Harvey Cedars Bible Conference and the theme for the week was "Who Are You In Christ?" coincidence? I think not.  While at Harvey I got a call from the owner of our company telling me that the Jaguar franchise had been sold and as of August 12th the dealership would be closing.  Thankfully he also told me that day that I still had a job and I was going to have a few different options which we would talk about when I got back. However, the job that I was so passionate about and loved so much was just gone. Well thank you God, there's an answer to one prayer, I wasn't really thinking it would happen quite like that..but hey, I got the message. 

Secondly, for at least the past year or two I've just been struggling with finding joy and satisfaction with life and more specifically just really struggling with my purpose for life.  I had been feeling like I was being called in the direction of missions or ministry of some sort but had just been shoving the feelings aside because I didn't know what to do with them and to be quite honest just didn't want to listen. I was sprawled out in my sun room on the Sunday afternoon after Harvey and was feeling overwhelmed with the thought of what I was going to be up against when I went to work on Monday, with just so many unknowns and unanswered questions my mind wouldn't stop racing.  It was then that I literally said out loud to myself "hear God, do what He says" and that's when I remembered that I hadn't had my quiet time yet so I cracked open Jesus Calling, grabbed my bible and what I read next sent chills down my spine, gave me goosebumps and if I wouldn't have already been on the floor probably would have dropped me to the floor. 

If that right there with those passages wasn't enough of an answer from God as to what he wants from me I don't know what else would be.  I read Colossians, I remember I started to feel nervous, I read through Matthew, the nerves continued to grow and then as I was reading through John and read "peace be with you..." I thought, oh how appropriate because God you KNOW that I am freaking out right now. 

I don't know what it is exactly that God wants from me right now, I don't know exactly where he wants me, what I do know is this, all me wants from me, all he wants from you is to just live in Him, live in His peace and in His presence and he will make his path known to you. 

East to West

I'm so tired, but yet I find myself sitting here...mulling over my feelings and life.  I am feeling emotionally and spiritually spent. I used to come back from retreats feeling so encouraged and on fire, and while parts of me still do, more often than not I end up coming back feeling frustrated, defeated and beat down.  Satan is winning and I know that full well, I know he has me right where he wants me, he knows my every weakness and he knows what he needs to do in order to make me stumble.  I'm almost hesitant to say this, only because this is real, this is pure and it's raw... but, it's the truth and here it is. I can not say no to my greatest struggles, it's a test that I fail EVERY SINGLE TIME. Now while I have made great strides to becoming the person who Christ has called me to be, I am still struggling to launch myself over some major hurdles, but instead of hurdles, picture brick walls wrapped in razor wire and reinforced with steel beams.

I know that I won't be completely free in Christ until I can conquer these walls, and in order to conquer these walls I must be completely surrendered. Until tonight, I thought I was wholly surrendered, I thought that I trusted him with every facet of my life, but most importantly I thought that I trusted in the fact that he wants the best for me because he loves me.  Apparently not, because if I did truly believe everything that I just said with 100% of my heart, I would break down those razor wire wrapped walls with my bare hands, I wouldn't care about the pain it is going to cost me, and I wouldn't care what it takes because knowing and experiencing the freedom that is on the other side of those walls is a freedom so pure, so full of hope, and so full of love and peace, that I will never be able to fully understand...and the best part...it's free, all I need to do is break down those walls, take up my cross daily and follow him. So why can't I do this right now, how idiotic am I that I am completely unable to fully accept the greatest gift I have ever been given!?!?! I know what I need to do, but why can't I do it. If only it were that simple. 

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

New Life Bible Camp

We spent the weekend at New Life Bible Camp, and after going to the same place year after year you're bound to have a few adventurous trips up, right?! So last year, we missed our exit on the PA Turnpike and it took us a few extra hours to make it there because the next exit is ya know, quite a few miles away!  This year, we barely made it to our rest stop, we emerged through the last tunnel on the turnpike and our fearless bus driver Mike noticed that this headlights weren't very bright, he attributed this to the rain/wet snow mess that we were driving through, but a few miles before our rest stop, we basically had no lights, we were losing our windshield wipers fast and there was really nothing we could do about it.  Praise the Lord we made it safely to our rest stop and Mike started making some calls, we were able to find an 24 hour emergency service to help replace our blown alternator and after 2 and a half hours we were back on the road again! We finally made it up to camp around 130am, unloaded the bus and immediately went to bed. Even though we were getting quite bored sitting in the Sideling Hill travel plaza for a few hours, I'm still praising God because we 1. made it safely and 2. weren't stuck on the bus with almost 30 teenagers along the side of the road!

Saturday we slept in a little later than normal because of our late night, still not quite enough sleep, but we got enough to function! Our "guest speaker" for the weekend was our very own Pastor Doug and he did a great job. Our theme was "Don't Waste Your Life", I love how Doug is able to bring home such important messages to our teens in such simple and effective ways.  We played some kickball (I am so out of shape, I'm struggling to walk today as a result of one hour of kickball...pathetic, I know) Some went hiking, fishing, went on a zip line, canoeing, and we played lots of basketball and floor hockey.  However, while playing basketball, I made a shot, my elbow popped, and now has a sharp pain and my pinky is numb...I'm not to concerned because it's not turning funny colors, so I'm just going to wait this one out and see if it gets better!

Last night, I had hopes for getting a better nights sleep since Friday night deemed a huge fail. We went to bed sometime a little after 1, which is fine except that sometime around 330 am I was woken up by one of my girls flailing around in her bed and screaming "How the heck do I get out of here?!?!" myself along with one of the other girls asked her if she was okay and at that point she had woken up, extremely confused hanging with a leg over the edge of her bed and said "yeah" in a pretty confused voice. Thankfully this added quite a few laughs to the morning.  I quickly fell back to sleep only to be woken up again because I kind of felt like my hair was moving, so without really thinking I put my hand through my hair and can only assume that I grabbed a stink bug....AAAAAAHHHH!!!! It was pitch black so I have no idea what I grabbed, but whatever it was got quickly thrown across the room and then I had a very hard time falling back to sleep.  With all that being said, I just woke up a little big ago after a glorious 2 hour nap, I could have probably just went to bed at 530 but I have one of the youth girls sleeping over tonight and then she is job shadowing me tomorrow. 

Sorry I don't have any pictures, I'll just have to wait for some of my girls to put pictures up so I can steal them from Facebook :)
 

Poltrona Frau

I love my job, I love that I get to wake up everyday and do something that I am passionate about. On August 11, 2010 Jaguar celebrated their 75th anniversary, and to commemorate their birthday they created 175 special edition XKR175's.  They are limited at 174MPH, have upgraded breaks and tires, a few body modifications and it only comes in one color. We beat out 6 other dealerships to get just 1, and not only did we sell that one, we sold 2!!! What an amazing feeling! Because of our success with the XKR175 we were fortunate enough to get one of these bad boys assigned to us...

It's another special edition XKR.  The designer for Jaguar, Ian Callum designed this car specifically for himself and created just 16 of them for the entire country, and we have one! Isn't she beautiful?!

1% Changes

After spending a few days with someone who is as dedicated to eating healthy and exercising as I am to eating ice cream and sleeping 9 hours a night I've decided that I need to make some changes in my life. I am now part of a little "get fit" thing, and I'm not quite sure what I have gotten myself into. I am totally aware that I am out of shape and have horrible eating habits, the frustrating part is that I am actually okay with that. My main goals are not to lose weight, or look better, but to get my resting heart rate down to at least 70bpm, lower my cholesterol(yeah yeah, make the old people jokes...) and gain some muscle!

Now, how in the world do you get a person who lacks motivation and has a hard time with dedication and commitment to actually get up early to exercise and eat healthy?! I normally only get in one meal a day, and if I am able to actually squeeze dinner in, it's usually late at night and it's not even a meal, I more or less resemble a cow, grazing through my fridge picking at whatever I can find that doesn't involve any preparation at all. Normally I find myself eating things like cheese, wheat thins, peppers, cake, frozen waffles, corn dogs, chips and salsa...blah blah blah...you get the picture.

So, while looking at a blog today I was encouraged to start One Percent Changes. This seems simple, I love it. Make small changes, nothing too huge, and eventually these small changes will make a difference. So here we go... I can totally do this! However, I'm not going to lie, this is going to have to wait until tomorrow. The Butler Vs UConn game is on tonight so I'm picking up a couple pizzas on my way home from work and Keeping it Kingdom with a few friends tonight.

throwing up deuces (I've always wanted to say that!)

day one of many

My coffee addiction is an interesting one.  I'll go a few months, drinking a few cups of coffee a day and then eventually my heart rate skyrockets, my heart palpitates, and I can't handle the caffeine anymore.  So I quit drinking coffee, suck up a week worth of headaches, and try to get on with life. Then in a few more months I am back onto my coffee kick, only to continue the binge until my heart says stop. So, today is day 1 of no coffee.. boo. I hate this part of the process.I will see you again in a few months my little flamingo.

Snow? In April?

Happy April! My Mom bought me a calendar at Christmas and I look forward to flipping each month and I thought that with the dusting of white that we had this morning and my general frustration with this colder weather it couldn't have been more perfect!





So I woke up to this. I know it's not a lot but I am totally sick of this weather and ready for warmer weather!





And then I flipped to this. Perfect timing. So for now I will find warmth in my coffee and happiness in knowing that though this season is proving a hard one for me, it too will end soon and I will again be reminded of Gods unfailing love.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

learning to live

I am sorry it's been a little while since I've written, life got a little crazy before I left for California! I'm back now after a much needed hiatus from the daily grind and I am ready to get back into things with a  new perspective and energy for life.  I needed this trip out to LA, I needed it to clear my head, to help me appreciate life, but most of all to just spend a few days with no agenda and no responsibilities was what I needed the most.

Our adventure began on Wednesday morning at 2am and we hit the ground running and didn't slow down until we got home at 4am today. I met Laura last summer through Katie who is a very dear friend to me. Katie and Laura are sisters, completely different in personality yet so similar in the way that they show their love for Christ and people.  I love this girl, she has this amazing ability to see and appreciate every aspect of life, especially through food and culture.  Thank you Laura for showing me what it's like to live life so freely. 

I've had a lot of fun getting to know Josiah over the past few years.  He's a great guy with a heart on fire for Christ.  He was also a great travel buddy!

 

 

we are such tourists.  fanny pack anyone?!

Venice Beach...experiencing California

What's a trip to California without the Hollywood sign?!

Hermosa Beach. perfection.

A huge part of our trip was defined by food (I think we spent more money on food than we did on airfare...eek!!!) I love food, I'm a caffeine, deep fried, sugar junkie. If we weren't actively eating, we were thinking of what to eat next.

Laura introduced us to Asia de Cuba. This was by far one of the most phenomenal meals I have ever had in my life. Forget the fact that I could fly round trip to LA again for the less than the cost of the meal, it was TOTALLY worth it!  We got 2 appetizers, 3 main dishes and a desert and each dish was as awe inspiring as the next. When our Lobster Pad Thai came out Laura looked at our waiter and said "how do you deal with this!?!" She said it perfectly! How do you deal with so much food that is so perfect in every way?! I will not soon forget this experience and will be back to Asia de Cuba within the year. I promise. 

We all love coffee, and fortunately it's everywhere! Oh, and so was Yogurtland. We stopped at Yogurtland only twice, but each time was awesome! You have the choice of an overwhelming amount of frozen yogurts that you serve yourself and pile on as many toppings as you can think of... glorious.

Cheers to a great time in LA with great friends, food and some much needed time away from real life. 

My Story

I was compelled to share my story yesterday after hearing our pastor speak from 2 Corinthians 3:1-18 .  We viewed a video from I Am Second and Pastor Doug shared his story, and encouraged us to share the story that God has written on our own lives. 

I have always been hesitant to share this part of who I am, probably because it touches on some of the most intimate and darkest parts of my life, but after breakfast with an old youth leader and yesterdays sermon I am more than ever convinced that this is my time. Until last year there were only a few people who knew my story and my struggles, but I was finally able to share all of it with the youth group during a Wednesday evening, and give them a glimpse into the amazing power of God and salvation and now I am ready to share it with you all. 

The twin and I were adopted during the summer of 1988 and I'm not lying when I say that I couldn't have been given better parents or a life (hi, Mom and Dad!!!). I was raised in a Christian home, learned to love Christ and do good at an early age. During high school I found alcohol, drugs, sex and what I thought was pure freedom. I believed all of Satan's lies and fell into a trap and thought that I had it all. During my first year of college I finally realized my need for Christ and even then I still had a twisted view of who God was and is. During 2008 I left the church that I grew up in and headed to Word of Life Chapel where I was able to develop my own identity. Only a handful of people there knew me and the fresh past I was just emerging from, and the rest of the people that knew me, knew only of me because of the reputation that my mom has because of her strong faith and involvement in Christian Women's Club and Moms In Touch (also because I was one of those adorable little Korean twins, we don't have too many of us up in here in these woods, lol). I was able to become my own person, I was no longer "the daughter of Gary and Evie", but I was Ashley Joline...the Asian :) and I was no longer "one of the twins" I was just me. It helped me start over, which I honestly  feel would have been virtually impossible had I stayed at my parents church. 

Word of Life has been one of the best experiences in my life and it is here that I have been able to truly learn what it means to love Christ and reap all of the wonderful benefits that I have as believer. Thanks to my parents who never stopped praying for me, youth leaders from Hope who are still impacting my life, and a great church and youth group I have been able to serve God by loving him completely and I am LOVING it!

Just a little promo. I signed up for the 22 Day Challenge from I am Second and I challenge you to do the same as well!

-Ash

twisted lies

I have no words, at least no positive words to describe how I am feeling right now. I know many of you heard about the terrible fire that ravaged a local farm and claimed the lives of 7 innocent children, we are all saddened by this loss, and my prayers are with the family, but my feelings right now are aimed at the members of the  Westboro Baptist Church.

They are planning on picketing the funeral for these children on Tuesday, and I am honestly struggling to find the words to say right now. Just pray for these people, pray that they would truly see God's love and desire for goodness in our lives. God can be an angry and just God, but he is not a God that seeks revenge. 

Just pray.

sunshine on a rainy day....

The moment I've been waiting for...

the iPhone4 on the Verizon network!

it brings me much joy to see such organized packaging

Goodbye Andy the Android. I won't be missing you.

Ash Wednesday

When I was a kid I used to love to pretend that Ash Wednesday was my day, a day named just for me! I have actually gone quite a few years without paying attention to Ash Wednesday and Lent, but when I logged onto CNN this morning to catch up on the daily headlines I was drawn to this article titled "Explain it to me: What's Lent? And what are you giving up?". So I read it just to see what people would be giving up.

It took me less than 30 seconds to find this, "I have given up my all hopes on god and Jesus, hell and heaven or in life after death. I am a pantheist. Please believers do not bother to pray for me. I am happy as I am. Thank you" - Agha Ata. This literally made my heart ache, as I was looking through page after page of people giving up coffee, chocolate, snack foods, media, this man was choosing  to give up on the reason for Lent. Sadly he is not alone, 900rr is giving up "Jesus mambo jumbo.... nonsense" Joe says "I will be giving up nothing for lent as I am not crazy enough to have bought into the christian propaganda machine. Christianity promotes intolerance, hatred, and violence."  Two different Ann's and An Irish Fellow are giving up Christianity and Jim is just "giving up religion" and that was only on the first 3 pages! It makes me wonder what on earth we are doing as Christians that are making people feel this way.

shared fears though worlds apart

Lately I've been overwhelmed with the fear that I am going to die an untimely death, and also that I do not have enough time to do everything that I need to do this week and all of these feelings were reinforced after this following conversation...

Sarah:  why don't you concentrate your prayers on me living to be at least 88, every now and then I get paranoid that I'm going to be one of those people that dies young

Sarah: this week is one of those times lol

me:  yeah, funny you mention that. 

me:  I've been having that feeling all day.

Sarah:  oh fantastic

me:  about me though. not you.

Sarah:  about yourself?

me:  you'll live to be at least 88.

Sarah:  sometimes I want to run to the doctor and have them do every possible test on me lol 

Sarah: where do these thoughts come from? 

me:  YES! lol I've thought about it too!! 

Sarah: but it makes me feel better to know you think you're going to die too lol

me:  oh great. thanks! lol

Sarah:  lol you know what I mean

me:  I do 

Sarah:  hoooottttttttt 

Sarah: maybe I'm going to die from heat stroke? lol 

Sarah: okay, too soon to joke about this 

me:  lol yeah lets stop! 

me: happy thoughts!

Sarah:  okay, but why do we think this way

Sarah:assuming we're both psychotic

Sarah: which I think is a safe assumption

me:  because we're afraid of what we don't know
Sarah: you mean because life's been predictable to this point and now there's no school and no semesters left

me: yes.

Sarah: do you get mildly panicky that you're running out of time?

me:  are you inside of my head!?!?!

me: GET OUT!

me: DEMON LLAMA!

Sarah:  lol this is so good though!!!

Sarah: it means we're just both crazy!

me:  but I dont want to be crazy!

This is absolute craziness. We both know deep down that we are only going to die when God calls us, but somehow that fear of the unknown is what grips is tightly to our core. I don't tend to worry a whole lot, I'm a pretty casual person, however, when I start thinking about the possibility that my life here on earth could be cut short it REALLY really freaks me out. Maybe it's more the fear of suffering, I don't know, but like Sarah said... this is good, it just means we're both crazy!


Also, let me just say... I know you're seeing a lot of "lol'ing" going on up there, but I can promise you, that wherever an "lol" is placed, there was real "lol'ing" going on. 

L dot A dot California hot

Ok, I've waited long enough. This won't be the last time you're going to hear about this, so I apologize in advance..but the countdown is officially on...we have 19 days until we are Los Angeles bound! I was excited before, but I am TOTALLY pumped now. I am excited because I always have big dreams and fun ideas, but I rarely follow through with them so, the fact that this has all materialized just amazes me! 

I want to be the type person that stays up late (I am actually getting better at this), makes spontaneous decisions and goes a lot of places...but alas..that is not me.  Those who know me, know that I do hate change, I don't necessarily like new situations and sometimes I am quite lazy, yet I am plagued with ADD (and refuse to take my medication because I would rather enjoy eating food than focusing) and am totally unable to sit still or focus on anything for more than 3 minutes. We have self diagnosed Josiah with ADD as well, and if you spent more than 2 minutes with the lovely Laura Gregg, you too would notice that she has ADHD and the greatest sense of humor of anyone I know. So here we are, 3 crazy people who collectively may be able to focus on one thing for oh, I'd say a good 10 minutes! Spring Break 2011...LA, get ready! 

Laura sent me an email with a tentative breakdown of what our week is going to look like...and here are the highlights, I had to copy and paste this straight from my email because I just love the way that she breaks this all down!

• Wednesday- Kick it ol' school, keeping it kingdom trivia night and showing you my digs.
• We should take a ride and have a party in Yari (Yari is her Toyota Yaris) day to Santa Barbara for some beer and wine tasting.  It's BEAUTIFUL and it gets you out of the concrete jungle for the day- I am thinking Thursday
• Friday- Hiking?! Yes please :). There are some beautiful hikes up in Malibu or we can go to Runyon Canyon where you are guaranteed (well maybe not completely) to see a famous person.  
• Saturday- Tourist loveliness…."Welcome to Hollywood", go look at the stars and stuff, if you are into that. Have a drink, show LA our swag and rock it at a fun restaurant to show you LA Nightlife.
• Sunday- wake up super early, eat breakfast at the best place in LA, gain 5 pounds since Josiah thinks I am fat anyways, and rush back to LAX to put you on a plane from the best coast to the east coast 

And this is why I am so excited to keep it kingdom in LA for SB 2011!!! (I'll explain keeping it kingdom in my next post, as I believe it is TOTALLY worthy of having it's own post, or at least sharing a post with Super Chrish)

-Ash

quarter life crisis

Well, another year older. First, thanks to all of you who blew up my Facebook and phone all day with the birthday love! Now, before I say what I am about to say let me just preface it all by saying... I know I am only 23. I know I have my whole life ahead of me. I know that I am still young, but just give me a moment. 

Yes, I am just 23, I am still young and do have my whole life ahead of me, but why is it, that this particular birthday has me feeling especially lame, unaccomplished and just plain discouraged. I know that "life is all in what you make of it" but, I feel like I am having a quarter-life-crisis, which I thought I already had when I turned 20 and bought this: maybe my crisis is still continuing?! Uh-oh.

Maybe its just the fact that everyone seems to always get so excited about birthdays, and to me..it's just another year. Mostly, probably because life since I have settled into the daily grind of the real world has seemed lack luster and blah. Whatever the reason may be, I am going to count my blessings, think of all that I have accomplished in my short 23 years of life,  not everything that I haven't done and I am going to continue to fight the urge to buy something expensive and make rash life decisions. 

So my birthday plans for the evening. Enjoy some cake with the roommate and my parents, and do laundry! I wasn't kidding when I said that I really don't enjoy birthdays.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the love from my friends and family, just not the birthday part necessarily.... I'm excited to see what kind of cake is awaiting me at home though! The roommate asked me what my favorite kind of cake was so I told her "FUNFETTII!!! or chocolate cake with peanut butter icing, pineapple upside down cake, red velvet cake, or chocolate cake with brown butter icing, or white cake,  or yellow cake, ice cream cake...I really like cake!" (that could be a really good childrens book..."If you give an Asian a birthday" it could go along with the 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie' book series!)

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do." - Pope John XXIII

-Ash

Top Gear, XJ's and sunrise smiles...

I love Top Gear, this is the REAL top gear..with my 3 favorite men and I couldn't think of a better way to ring in my birthday in exactly 1 hour than with an episode of Top Gear featuring a product that I am most passionate about...the All New XJ.  I sell these, dang straight I do. I couldn't help but smile at the end of this episode. I've been waiting for Top Gear to review the All New XJ ever since we debuted it about a year ago, and the day has finally come!

I am slightly in love with the show and I must admit that while most women my age are not be drawn to a car show hosted by 3 British men, I am! This particular episode wasn't filled with as much humor as some, however this episode right here was absolutely hilarious!

Well, my birthday is tomorrow..the big 23...???.  I think I am more excited about the fact that I get to tear a page off of my desk calendar and flip the calendar in my bathroom than I am about my actual birthday..however, I vow to make the most of it.

Love Hungry - Philippians 4:13

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

Thank you to all who supported us in our journey to Love Hungry! We reached our goal and with 23 students and 8 leaders were able to raise $10,762 and that number is still climbing.  The Lord is so good! I can't adequately express my appreciation for each of you who supported us and prayed us through this weekend.

We started fasting after lunch on Friday and all met at the church at 6pm to finish out the rest of the famine together.  We were able to make 30 hygiene kits and send lots of extra hygiene supplies to the Global Aid Network warehouse where they will distribute those kits to Haiti and this is also where we spent 3 hours on Saturday working in their distribution center.  We spent the rest of Friday night just hanging out, and enjoyed a challenge from Sarah who focused on Philippians 4:12-13... I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. We then finished up our night with Despicable Me and tried to sleep. Which by the way, have you ever tried to sleep on a church pew? Not very comfy, I probably should have just slept on the floor, but apparently that wasn't the cool thing to do as all of the girls were on the pews, so in an attempt to make myself seem as cool as possible and to try to dispel a few of the rumors circulating that I am in fact and old woman trapped in a "Gen Y" body I slept on a pew. Never again.

Saturday morning came quickly and we were blessed by the wonderful Cari who brought us "breakfast"!!! She brought us frozen fruit juice cubes, a wonderful cold punch and an AMAZING hot drink with cranberry and orange juice! That got us going on the right foot, oh and the coffee definitely helped too.  We played a couple games of Birdie on a Perch (Jane and Krista were stripped of their reigning title and winning streak, soorrry girls!) Josiah started off our morning with a challenge and then we headed out to the GAIN warehouse and distribution center.  Half of the group went off to make salvation bracelets and the other half of our group headed over to unpack and repack shoes.  Some of us received a tour of the facility and it was awesome seeing all of the things that are being done right here in our own back yard.  Shoes, clothes, wheelchairs, computers, food, seed packets, and many many other things are constantly being sorted and assembled to be sent across the world to places like Haiti, the Ukraine, and Zambia.  We got back to the church around 330 and cleaned the downstairs and then had a quick meeting and then it was time for...DIINNNNERRRR!!!

A HUGE thank you again to Sue, Lyn, Sandy and Marcia for preparing a wonderful meal for us to break the fast! Sue made us spaghetti and garlic bread, which if you haven't had Sue's garlic bread, you are missing out my friend! Lyn made her famous salad and I...well I...apparently broke a cardinal rule of the famine.  I didn't make Banana Pudding. I thought we could do ice cream instead, boy was I wrong.  I thought they were going to burn me at the stake, throw me to the wolves, make me walk the plank..you get the idea, NEVER AGAIN will I not make Banana Pudding for the famine! I'M SORRY!!!

The last thing I have to do is plan a pizza party, as an incentive I told them whoever (leaders included!) raised over $300 I would throw them a pizza party! So, 14 of us are going to be partying it up sometime this month!

We all wrote down thoughts, verses, or something that we were were made aware of during the famine on an index card and we taped them at the back of the church. On one of the cards was written something to the extent of ..."I kept thinking about dinner, and then I thought of all of the kids and people who have no idea when their 6 O'clock will be..." So I will end with this, Philippians 4:12-13 from the message, I feel as though it just sums it all up so perfectly.

Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

so, why don't you blog about it!?

Britt had her Lia Sophia party on Thursday and as a host she received plenty of rewards including many half priced items and hostess benefits.  She was letting me choose some things for my birthday and kept on complaining about the jewelry that I was picking out because apparently I like pieces that are "plain" and "boring" I can't help it that I like simplicity! We eventually came to the conclusion that because I have my Rook and Tragus pierced when I wear "fancier" earrings, it just doesn't look right and that's when I said "I know, and I've thought about taking them out but I really don't want to because I feel they define me!" I was partially kidding and partially not, that's when Brittany retorted "so why don't you blog about it" so...here I am! (and now she's making fun of me because I actually am blogging about it)

I decided to pierce my Rook and Tragus when when I was in high school, both with Sara Nissley and both on a whim.  They aren't too daring and they are by no means hardcore, but it takes me back to a time in my life when I lived from moment to moment and apparently enjoyed pain. I feel like these piercings add something to my personality, even though they are small and most of the time covered up by my hair and I forget about them, I still like to think that they say; hey this girl is different and maybe she thinks a little out of the box.  So this is to you my dear twin. You know my taste in jewelry may be simple and not very exciting, and I hate to disappoint you, but we both just need to accept the fact that I am a simple, without major frills type of girl. However, you, my Jegging wearing, leather boot sporting, over sized belt accessorizer may enjoy all of the fancy schmancy bling bling that your little heart desires, and apparently it desires quite a bit!!!

On a totally separate note: I went to the Dr. today and low and behold I have a sinus infection, he gave me "ZPack" and sent me on my way, 10 minutes, I was in that office for less than 10 minutes. I still don't know if I should be feeling impressed or not cared for..either way, I'm happy and on the road to good health. However, before I left, the Dr asked me if I was planning on selling my prescription or if I was going to use it!? Hello, you heard the mucus rumbling in my lungs...why would I sell it!? I mean, I guess the man does have his reasons for asking me, but that's in the past man...c'mon! Move on, I sure have!

John 10:10

AAAHHHH this weather. I think the good Lord new we all needed these past couple of days to get us through the rest of the winter.

Last weekend was a dear friend's birthday so after work on Saturday Erica, Sara and I packed up Rhonda (the Accord) and headed down to Baltimore.  Of course, we were so involved in our conversation that I forgot to stay in the right lane and subsequently missed the exit off of 83 onto 695...poo. For those of you who know, this is bad..very bad, because you can't simply just get off, loop back around and get back on, so after some fighting with an iPhone, and 4 u turns...we figured it out! We finally made it into Baltimore and found Sam's apartment, we picked her up, she helped us find a spot in front of the Safeway and we unloaded our stuff.  As soon as we got out of the car I noticed a homeless man rummaging through his bush obviously trying to find something. I can only assume that this was his bush because he eventually emerged victorious with his brown paper bag and bottle of liquor! Ohhh Baltimore, how I love you and miss you!

We had a great time, we were able to just talk and catch up about our lives. Things have definitely changed for all of us in the past year, and we've all hit the real world running. Sam is working in the NICU as an RN, Erica is working for a lobbying firm in Mechanicsburg, Sara is now MARRIED and works as an OTA at Willow Valley, and Kristen is working for Nationwide and happily dating someone. Man, life is crazy. 

We left there around 12am and headed home. This was my favorite part I do believe, we were able to have a heart to heart..I mean a tear shedding, lay it all out on the table heart to heart.  I don't think we have ever had this type of talk, at least not all of us collectively. I love Sara because she encourages me to be the best that I can be, she has shown me what it really means to have faith, to have hope and most of all...to love like Christ loves us.  Erica, ohhh Erica...this girl has a passionate personality that I wish I had even a quarter of, she has goals and dreams and she works so hard to make those dreams a reality. I'm pretty sure that she was more of an encouragement to me on the way home than I was to her, which may be bad on my part especially since she was the one seeking the answers and assurance.  I'm so glad these girls have been placed in my life and I'm looking forward to spending some more time with them just doing what girls to best...talking.

Spring-esque

I had great plans for today. I wanted to get a lot of things done, somehow in the middle of the winter we've been blessed with a few spring days and I wanted to take full advantage of them! I guess my immune system had a better idea. I woke up with a sore throat and all of it's closest friends.  So instead of going out with my favorite little man and Katie and then going to meet baby Cadence, I stayed in and did some major spring cleaning. Oh wait, was I supposed to relax when I am sick? Psh..that's for the weaklings. I feel too guilty relaxing when there is cleaning and organizing to be done.  Side note...stink bugs! I saw one this morning in our sun room and I thought he was dead so I went about my business and kept on vacuuming and dusting and I looked over probably about 5 minutes later and he was GONE!!!  (why I didn't just suck him up with the vacuum while I was close, I don't know, I regret that now). So all of you who are coming over for Britt's Lia Sophia party tonight..watch out, there is one on the loose!

I guess I may feel better if I shower, but I'm waiting for that harsh chemical smell to leave my bathroom before I shut myself behind my shower curtain and succumb to the fumes. Which leads me to this question. What are some good cleaning products that aren't as harsh and abrasive as Lysol and it's byproducts?

I love this weather, spring cannot come soon enough, my windows are down and the heat is off...if I could actually smell I'm sure it would be invigorating!

Paradise Lake 2011

Even thought it has been been a week since the youth retreat, and I should have written about this sometime early last week... I didn't, so here it goes. 

Each year for our winter retreat we head off to Paradise Lake located in Denver, PA for a fun filled weekend in an A-frame house with a lakeside view. This is my favorite retreat, I haven't figured out why yet, but it's probably because we're forced to all be so close all of the time, it just makes for such better unity. So this is what the weekend looked like: 

All of the girls with their food supply for the weekend!

It's not a retreat without a game of Settlers of Catan

The weather on Saturday wasn't the greatest

Some of them still went sledding anyways...

 

 

 

there was lots of "jamming"

There was LOTS of Wii Dancing

by everyone!

Classic violent game of Dutch Blitz

AND BLANKET FOORRRRTSSS!!!

All in all I would say that everyone had a great time! We watched the movie To Save A Life and did the study that goes with it.  I found it extremely challenging and I really hope that it impacted our teens as well! 

quiet reminders

Have you ever been doing something mundane, almost seemingly pointless or just plain..strange? Then you start really thinking about what you're doing, and why you're doing it. Then you start thinking about how this relates to your spiritual life and the next thing you know you have to share this awesome epiphany with someone.Well folks...here is my epiphany!

Lately it's been taking longer than usual to dry my hair in the morning, but it's been such a gradual thing that I didn't really take notice as to how long it was really taking me.  Also, I've been smelling a really hot plastic smell, my heating elements have been glowing orange and I seem to not have as much air flow as I once had.  I remembered a very long time ago that I popped off the back of my hair dryer and was able to clean some lint out, so I did that...and this is what I got!

Naasssttty!!! I must admit, it has been a very long time since I even thought about doing this, but let me tell you what, I dried my hair in less than 3 minutes! As I was picking my tiny lint balls from the wire mesh trap in the back with a bobby pin I began thinking about my walk with Christ and how all he wants of me is to be all that he created me to be. All of the lint that was causing my hair drying to run to sluggishly and was inhibiting the hair dryer to run at it's fullest capacity. Sure, each ball of lint itself is no larger than the eraser from a pencil, and each ball individually would not have made a difference, but all together those 25 lint balls make one pretty large mass, inhibiting critical air flow that was needed. Is it too strange to think of our spiritual lives in comparison to a hair dryer? I'll be the first to admit that I have little things that are keeping me from becoming the woman that God truly desires me to be. My friends..1 ball. My job...1 ball. Media...1 ball. Pride, insecurities, worry, doubt, 4, 5, 6, 7 balls...you get the picture. I am working on removing the negative parts of my lint balls and becoming the perfect hair dryer for the Lord :) I pray that if you're reading this you are too, there is nothing better than the freedom we have through Christ. 

Love Hungry and Mindless Ramblings

Love Hungry has officially begun and in 25 days the youth group at Word of Life Chapel hopes to have over $10,000 raised to help feed and care for the people of Haiti. If you'd like to help out by donating to this cause I will be setting up an online account through World Vision sometime within the next few days. 

Just recieved a letter from the township, they're changing our address upon approval from the Lancaster County Wide Communications people. I guess there has been a problem with emergency response vehicles being able to correctly identify our buildings, so this change of address should help to clear things up. I never really realized how many places I have my address until now and somehow I am feeling slighty sentimental about the possibility of no longer being 2017. After I order new mailing labels, and get a change of address card I will have to update my sales license, 401k, health insurance, car insurance, credit cards, bank accounts, magazine subscriptions, loan payments...blah blah blah. However, when I've eaten myself into a food coma I guess I will be happy when the ambulance can find me in a timely fashion and pump my stomach accordingly!

I was going to say something sarcastically Witty about the roommate, but now I'm really drawing a blank on what it was, which I must admit is slightly disappointing. I think my brain is officially done, my body is telling me to take a break and I actually may listen to it this time. I'm utterly exhausted and having problems formulating complete thoughts but my legs are wanting to do nothing but move...hm, restless leg syndrome? I'll have to Google that... Nope, just A.D.D.

snowflakes to snowballs

While I was growing up, and my A.D.D. was probably more than my parents could handle at the time, they would send me outside to build, create, and explore. Most often it was my Mom who encouraged me to pass the time by exploring with science and nature... playing with things that I could tangibly see cause and effect, rhyme and reason.  I had a book filled with science experiments and in this book was a clever way to catch snowflakes and keep them frozen long enough so you could admire many at once without them melting on your mittens. I still remember, walking out onto my front porch, with my cookie sheet, plastic wrap and black construction paper to see if I could prove science wrong and find 2 snowflakes exactly alike. Thus, becoming an instant millionaire and never having to return to school again! I bet I sat there for a solid 30 minutes (stop judging me, I could barely sit still long enough to use the bathroom let alone stare at particles of frozen water formed into stars!). Defeated I went back inside where I believe I got the "snowflakes are like people, they're all similar but each one is unique in it's own way, and they are all designed different just the way God designed each person differently" speech. Darn, science wins again... back to school it is.

More recently I began thinking about snowballs. It's amazing how a snowflake singled out is so vulnerable and delicate, but when packed together with some of it's closest friends it can be used to bring life to Frosty and chase away bullies! Maybe my mom was right afterall, snowflakes are just like people, alone we are vulnerable and delicate, but when we have friends and a support system, we somehow feel like we can be a part of something truly larger than ourselves.

oh the irony of Breaking Free.

Pathetic as this is, I just had to email my Mom to let her know that the only Friday I have left for the entire month of February is luckily on her birthday, so schedule it or be doomed I said!

This is my life, before a month can end the next is almost full.  I'm not complaining because I know that this is life for most people, what I am saying though is...SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!?!? Stop and smell the roses, hold your horses, enjoy the wonders of life that are all around you. As a person who feels the need to constantly be doing something every waking moment it is extremely hard for me to not fill up every blank square in my calendar with pretty colors and fun plans.

While talking with my dear friend Sarah today I realized a few things: I need to slow down, my life is too easy, but most importantly, I realized what it really means to be a friend. I've known Sarah since 2nd grade, she knows me better than sometimes I think I know myself. We chat often, fighting the unreliability of Facebook Chat and Haiti's power grid and she always makes sure that I answer every single question she has thrown at me with the velocity of a automatic weapon. If she doesn't like an answer that I've given to a particular question, if I've purposefully tried to just fluff and answer and move on to the next she knows. While she was expressing her concern for my busy schedule and what she might possibly think is an over committed person teetering on the brink of insanity (she may be right) she made me wonder what exactly I was trying to accomplish by filling every empty square with pretty colors of ink. I told her the crust of my schedule looked like: youth retreat, Diamond Smuggling, coffee fellowship, 30 Hour Famine, Motor Trend Auto Show and Bible study which will be weekly for the next few months. She said "Bible study" which I sarcastically replied "Yes, Bible study, you know that thing where we as Christians gather to fellowship and grow together" which she replied "no, I know that.." and before she could say anything else I said "it's called Breaking Free by Beth Moore" and then she went rambling on some more about color coding my life, and how she would get such enjoyment out of it, and about my schedule and how she doesn't like that I'm so busy and then.."you need some time just to break free". BAM! Oh, the irony of Breaking Free.

be still and know

I just came to the realization that...I love my life right now. This season that I am currently in could not be better. I have an awesome roommate, and a lovely apartment, a core group of friends who I couldn't live without and I am constantly encouraged by all of the little things in life that I have pathetically failed at noticing before.



Last night as a friend was praying for dinner, I was just overwhelmed with a sense of peace, definitely a strange feeling when you thought you were at peace before. Suddenly I was thinking...so THIS is what being still is.



Hopefully it wasn't just a coincidence that I was feeling at peace because I came home from a long day at work to a wonderful meal cooked by Mark and Josiah and knew I would be doing nothing the rest of the evening but watching a movie and waiting for the snow to start. I guess we'll find out!