shared fears though worlds apart

Lately I've been overwhelmed with the fear that I am going to die an untimely death, and also that I do not have enough time to do everything that I need to do this week and all of these feelings were reinforced after this following conversation...

Sarah:  why don't you concentrate your prayers on me living to be at least 88, every now and then I get paranoid that I'm going to be one of those people that dies young

Sarah: this week is one of those times lol

me:  yeah, funny you mention that. 

me:  I've been having that feeling all day.

Sarah:  oh fantastic

me:  about me though. not you.

Sarah:  about yourself?

me:  you'll live to be at least 88.

Sarah:  sometimes I want to run to the doctor and have them do every possible test on me lol 

Sarah: where do these thoughts come from? 

me:  YES! lol I've thought about it too!! 

Sarah: but it makes me feel better to know you think you're going to die too lol

me:  oh great. thanks! lol

Sarah:  lol you know what I mean

me:  I do 

Sarah:  hoooottttttttt 

Sarah: maybe I'm going to die from heat stroke? lol 

Sarah: okay, too soon to joke about this 

me:  lol yeah lets stop! 

me: happy thoughts!

Sarah:  okay, but why do we think this way

Sarah:assuming we're both psychotic

Sarah: which I think is a safe assumption

me:  because we're afraid of what we don't know
Sarah: you mean because life's been predictable to this point and now there's no school and no semesters left

me: yes.

Sarah: do you get mildly panicky that you're running out of time?

me:  are you inside of my head!?!?!

me: GET OUT!

me: DEMON LLAMA!

Sarah:  lol this is so good though!!!

Sarah: it means we're just both crazy!

me:  but I dont want to be crazy!

This is absolute craziness. We both know deep down that we are only going to die when God calls us, but somehow that fear of the unknown is what grips is tightly to our core. I don't tend to worry a whole lot, I'm a pretty casual person, however, when I start thinking about the possibility that my life here on earth could be cut short it REALLY really freaks me out. Maybe it's more the fear of suffering, I don't know, but like Sarah said... this is good, it just means we're both crazy!


Also, let me just say... I know you're seeing a lot of "lol'ing" going on up there, but I can promise you, that wherever an "lol" is placed, there was real "lol'ing" going on.