8.13.2011

...and, I'm back.

I am the worlds worst blogger. Ok so maybe not, but how about this, I'm definitely horrible with commitment. I can't even stay committed to Words With Friends and Hanging With Friends games...not that that really has anything to do with my life right now.  I really do miss writing but all it takes is that one week to get me off track and boom...I'm gone for months. All that aside, I'm back for now and man has this month been awesome. God has been showing himself to me in some pretty crazy ways recently and I can't even put into words how amazed I am at his faithfulness.

I'm really struggling with where to start right now because if I want to be able to make anything that happened today make any sense you're going to need to back track with me to about 3 months. So here goes nothing...

I started praying that God would remind me of my identity in Him instead of in myself and more specifically in my job. About 3 weeks ago we took our youth group to Harvey Cedars Bible Conference and the theme for the week was "Who Are You In Christ?" coincidence? I think not.  While at Harvey I got a call from the owner of our company telling me that the Jaguar franchise had been sold and as of August 12th the dealership would be closing.  Thankfully he also told me that day that I still had a job and I was going to have a few different options which we would talk about when I got back. However, the job that I was so passionate about and loved so much was just gone. Well thank you God, there's an answer to one prayer, I wasn't really thinking it would happen quite like that..but hey, I got the message. 

Secondly, for at least the past year or two I've just been struggling with finding joy and satisfaction with life and more specifically just really struggling with my purpose for life.  I had been feeling like I was being called in the direction of missions or ministry of some sort but had just been shoving the feelings aside because I didn't know what to do with them and to be quite honest just didn't want to listen. I was sprawled out in my sun room on the Sunday afternoon after Harvey and was feeling overwhelmed with the thought of what I was going to be up against when I went to work on Monday, with just so many unknowns and unanswered questions my mind wouldn't stop racing.  It was then that I literally said out loud to myself "hear God, do what He says" and that's when I remembered that I hadn't had my quiet time yet so I cracked open Jesus Calling, grabbed my bible and what I read next sent chills down my spine, gave me goosebumps and if I wouldn't have already been on the floor probably would have dropped me to the floor. 

If that right there with those passages wasn't enough of an answer from God as to what he wants from me I don't know what else would be.  I read Colossians, I remember I started to feel nervous, I read through Matthew, the nerves continued to grow and then as I was reading through John and read "peace be with you..." I thought, oh how appropriate because God you KNOW that I am freaking out right now. 

I don't know what it is exactly that God wants from me right now, I don't know exactly where he wants me, what I do know is this, all me wants from me, all he wants from you is to just live in Him, live in His peace and in His presence and he will make his path known to you. 

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